Egad, I am now so old I remember hat sizes

I used to think I didn't like kids until the time I went on holiday to Canada and went on a weekend with our host’s sister and nephew, an eight-year-old child who kept asking questions I didn’t find irritating.

But on the whole I like them because for some reason the young like me.

I have done the thought experiment of sliding into a relationship again and I just can't see it working out. I have gone too feral, if someone who is mostly in bed all day can be called feral.

I wonder whether this current malady is the harbinger of a deeper disaster.

Unusually, my second day of illness has been worse than my first , and this could be a sign of the beginning of the end .

I see photos on social media platforms under titles like “ Scenes from Britain ’s Unimaginable Past” and think: Christ, I was alive then.

So it would seem that I am now, in a very literal sense of the term, Mr History .