Q: I’m a straight woman in my 30s, and I’ve always struggled to orgasm. I’m so torn. I’d love to have a safe and direct route to orgasm at home. Is that not an erogenous zone?

Stoya and Rich are diving into the How to Do It archives to share classic letters with our readers.

Have a question? Send it to Stoya or Rich here: It's anonymous! Stoya : I'm a straight woman in my early 30s and I've always struggled to orgasm.

You may be able to enjoy wrestling with people who aren’t as strong as you are by exercising your ability to pretend.

Bondage is inherently risky, and you should do some research before deciding if you’d like to try it.

You can give yourself permission to seek out people who are able and want to meet your desires.

If you’re up front with potential partners, it’s their choice to be with you or not.

I encourage you to spend some time thinking about what you do want out of a romantic relationship.

What is your idea of marriage, and why do you want that? And what does romance look like for you? Is it giving each other flowers? Netflix and actually chill?.